I find freedom in being real with myself and the world, even in regards to my weaknesses and so this blog is a chance for me to express where I am really at.
I got a pounding headache last night and it was still here today. My body also felt very out of whack and I told myself it must be because my little guy is about to arrive and so I prayed for God take it away. It wasn't leaving and my misery was escalating. I decided to call our chiropractor and see if he could help things out. The thing I love about him is that he loves the Lord and always tends to help me see the next area of growth for myself. He believes that God created our bodies to heal themselves and so when we experience ailments its due to us "getting in the way". Sure enough this morning I found this to be true. It came up that I have had an attitude that says I deserve for this baby to come any day now. I have carried him long enough, I want to meet him and I don't like the unknown or lack of control I have in not knowing the day or the hour. Can we say selfish? :) My body was creating ailments because of the negative thoughts and feelings that I was stressing over in the upcoming birth. So after today I am choosing to embrace the process. One that is totally out of my control. I can have sex multiple times, take long walks every day and a full moon can continue to show itself, yet the Creator of all things has a perfect day for this tiger to arrive and it is out of my control! When I really think about it I am realizing because of what I believe it really should help me to feel free. I don't have to do anything other than trust that God has it all taken care of and live each day to it's fullest whether I know what's in store for that day or not. I sure am feeling a sense of relaxation in not needing to rush this journey. Wow, to find contentment in all things and all circumstances. Isn't it a challenge? I am so thankful that God didn't answer my prayer immediately this morning as I desired him to. It would have robbed me of an opportunity for growth. Growth is not always fun but I sure love when I can look back and recognize that I was willing enough to face the hard stuff to become more self aware and in turn hopefully more mature.
Here's to the real stuff you are facing!! May God continue to help you in your process and show you ways to trust Him and let go of your plans. He really is an awesome God that has our best intentions in mind, even when we can't figure it out. Hugs and love, Kirstin
1 comment:
Thank you, that was amazing. You are a beautiful person, inside and out! Love you, Lanie
Post a Comment